This morning i confirmed that i'm really messed up. No matter how much i fool myself into thinking i'm not.
i was gonna be late. So i got angry with myself and drove to work like a bat out of hell. I tuned into NU, and relished "Smells Like Teen Spirit". So i did what any decent person would do. Naturally i opened my window and increased the vol of the radio as far as it would go. Then i realized that my sounds wouldn't match my driving if i didn't drive to match. So i adjusted my driving to match the music. No i didn't hit anyone, or anything. I didn't even almost hit anyone or anything. But i still endangered lives for the remainder of Elliptical road.. (and hey, i was trying to get to work on time, right? so what's wrong with that?). So there.
So what else is wrong with me, oh yeah, I arrived 8 minutes late because the spirit is willing, but the body won't ever yield to discipline, ever.
Ok let's change the subject into something more positive:
What's wrong with me? Sometimes i get so irritated, without being able to tell what i'm irritated about. Then the irritation turns to fury, still without quite knowing what i'm furious about. And sometimes i just feel down. Plainly and simply, "down", for no apparent reason i can think of. Why do i feel like i'm always screaming for attention? Why do i feel like no one cares? I know that everyone cares about me, yet i'm still screaming for people to care!
I'm writing this down because i don't ever want to forget this.
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