More selfish introvertial analysis

Well, i'm still screaming for attention and for people to care. Wallowing in self pity. Always imagining people saying, "but you're a good person!". I don't know if there's any truth to that statement. There is a thin line between being a "good person" and just being someone who doesn't care, doesn't wanna steer up trouble, and therefore "appears" good to everyone.

And where's my ambition huh? why am i so lazy???

'Do as I say, don't do as I do'

Stop turning Christ into a joke. Don't use religion to conceal your political motives. YOU WERE NEVER PRIESTS AND PASTORS AT HEART. YOUR EFFORTS ARE FUTILE ANYWAY. BY PRETENDING TO BE RIGHTEOUS AND SPIRITUAL, YOU VOMIT PUTRID PUKE AT THE FEET OF THOSE YOU TRY TO FOOL, AND YOU MOCK THE GOD WHO FAILS YOU WHEN YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT. IN DOING SO, OTHER'S LAUGH AT YOU AND MOCK YOUR GOD AS WELL.

Oh sure, you want to re-live your Glory days back in college, when being activists was a noble profession. But A PASTOR DOES NOT LEAD HIS SHEEP TO FIGHT THE WOLVES. He puts the sheep in a safe pasture, and fights the wolves himself. Even so, are you not all sheep, and Christ your pastor? Do you all claim to take the place of Christ by fighting the wolves?

Do not make the church a tool. Do not make the congregation your soldiers. Bear no semblance of Christ or religion when you take to the streets. If you draw crowds of followers on just your willpower, and not make your willpower into God's, will not people believe you more?

THE BATOUTOFHELL-MAN

This morning i confirmed that i'm really messed up. No matter how much i fool myself into thinking i'm not.
i was gonna be late. So i got angry with myself and drove to work like a bat out of hell. I tuned into NU, and relished "Smells Like Teen Spirit". So i did what any decent person would do. Naturally i opened my window and increased the vol of the radio as far as it would go. Then i realized that my sounds wouldn't match my driving if i didn't drive to match. So i adjusted my driving to match the music. No i didn't hit anyone, or anything. I didn't even almost hit anyone or anything. But i still endangered lives for the remainder of Elliptical road.. (and hey, i was trying to get to work on time, right? so what's wrong with that?). So there.

So what else is wrong with me, oh yeah, I arrived 8 minutes late because the spirit is willing, but the body won't ever yield to discipline, ever.

Ok let's change the subject into something more positive:

What's wrong with me? Sometimes i get so irritated, without being able to tell what i'm irritated about. Then the irritation turns to fury, still without quite knowing what i'm furious about. And sometimes i just feel down. Plainly and simply, "down", for no apparent reason i can think of. Why do i feel like i'm always screaming for attention? Why do i feel like no one cares? I know that everyone cares about me, yet i'm still screaming for people to care!

I'm writing this down because i don't ever want to forget this.

That feeling

Ok here's a description of that feeling. This is purely for my own reference, that i may not forget it's details. It starts somewhere in the heart (which is by this time beating quite fast). Somehow a band or a beam of sorts slowly travels downward from the chest area. The beam is characterized by a sensation not quite akin to pain, but is more like a "weakness". Perhaps this weakness is best described as, "that same feeling Superman gets when exposed to kryptonite". Anyway, this beam slowly travels downward, and is felt strongest when it reaches the knees, where it seems to linger on for a while, before proceeding lower and ultimately diminishing towards the feet.

Believe it or not...

This comes from my own wisdom... and is subject to be fallacious without my knowing. But...

Believe it or not, it is much harder to please myself than to please God. What i mean is, it is actually a really heavy burden when we try to satisfy ourselves. Just stop and think now, have you ever been satisfied when trying to satisfy yourself? We can be trying to find ways to make ourselves more comfortable, more at peace, more well off, and never actually reach that goal.

God on the other hand, invites us to stop thinking of ourselves. Believe it or not, you will not be more satisfied, than when you stop trying to be. A heavy burden is lifted when you suddenly allow yourself to "not care about it anymore". When we do everything for God's glory, we're doing what we were made to do. It's a snap back to reality. Who are you?? to think that God made you to please yourself?. We are to please God. Trust me, there is not one who pleases God who is not pleasing himself at the same time, satisfied, and at peace.

A Lil' Sumpin Sum'n

Criticism Sample of

Daily Encounter by Dick Innes

"He [Jesus] did not retaliate when he was insulted. When he
suffered, he did not threaten to get even. He left his case in
the hands of God, who always judges fairly" (1 Peter 2:23,
NLT).

"He who fears criticism," declared Thomas Jefferson, "is
hopeless. Only those who do things are criticized. The idler
is lost sight of in the march of events--but the doer is
watched and criticized. To hesitate for fear of criticism loses
the battle while the doers march on to victory and triumphs.

"If your cause is right, be not afraid of criticism: Advocate it,
expound it, and, if need be, fight for it. Critics always will be,
but to the strong-minded they are a help rather than a
hindrance. As the horse spurts forward when prodded
with the spur, so the doers forge ahead under the last of
criticism. Take your part on life's stage and play your part
to the end. Stand for that which is good [that which is right].
Be a doer, not a drone. Look the world in the face and let
the critics criticize."

The fact is those who achieve anything worthwhile in life
are bound to be the target for the jabs and jibes of jealous
lesser men. Furthermore, the person who, for fear of
criticism, tries to please everyone, ends up pleasing no one.

Realize, too, that an incessant, negative criticizer with a chip
on his/her shoulder is basically an angry person. They have
never resolved their hurts from the past and are looking for
hooks to hang their anger on. That is, they are projecting
their anger and/or failures onto others rather than accepting
the responsibility for their own unresolved issues.

On the other hand, when constructive criticism is given, let's
accept it in the spirit in which it is given, evaluate it realistic-
ally, and make changes where necessary. This is a
characteristic of a mature person.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be Christ-
like when criticized in that I accept all criticism in a mature
manner and don't become defensive. Wherever the criticism
is valid, help me to accept it gladly and make changes
accordingly. Thank you for hearing and answering my
prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

what to do with The System

Sure, we all see it. And if we don't see it we feel it. It's called "aversion to The System". Humans can sometimes get all doubtful and critical about "The System". Any governing body that requires rules and beliefs to be followed is automatically called "The System".

The Matrix, anyone?

Of course it's not bad to question "The System". Especially if it's a system created and enforced by mere humans. I mean, what do humans know? And since when did humans agree with each other?

The question is, what do we as believers do, in order that unbelievers do not dismiss the Truth that we believe and preach, as manipulative ways to get them hooked on "The System"? God after all does have His own "System".

"For the world to see the Truth, there can be no better proof, than to live the life... live the life..." .
That is the best we can do. Whether or not unbelievers embrace the Truth or not, is entirely up to God.

Dream of Waking Up

If somehow God grants me a wakeup, i swear i'm gonna do something about it! I'm gonna write a book, make a movie maybe, tell a story, anything! Things can get so sweet in life. Life can be so beautiful!

Oh how i dream of waking up. Of seeing the big picture once and for all. Of nothing else mattering anymore. I dream of wading through my problems while humming a happy tune without a care in the world, coz i cast them all up: "I missed the part where that's MY problem".

A Certain Level of Knowledge

Could it be that after a certain level of knowledge and wisdom is
reached... people become cynical and negative? depressed? If you're
not that way, does it mean you're not that wise or learned enough yet?
Just an interesting theory. Hehe.

the REAL emergency

The REAL emergency is when you don't see the emergency.
When everyone pretends that everything is alright, to a point that they're convinced that it's alright, they don't realize the death that is slowly eating them away.

It's like in a car see. When you're clutch drivin see. Sure aint nothin hapnin while yo steppin on that clutch for hours on end 24/7. And then BAM!

Timing

There's a time to be preachy, and a time to be tactful...

I Can't Trust Myself

I can't trust myself. I must be mindful of all that i do... of each footstep i take.

The Law Fulfilled

Didn't he say, "i came here to fulfill the law" (paraphrased). I
understand now. The law was never made for me to be able to follow it.
It was made to show me how futile it is to try to obey the law. The
law shows me how much i can't live without my Brother much less my
Father.

Of course of course

Once as i was riding in the woods, on my way to the East, i saw a boy
sleeping with his mouth open, and an apple hanging from a tree, ready
to fall on his mouth. Foolishness! i thought.

He wants you to WANT it. Don't just hold out your hand and sleep and
expect him to just ride by and drop the apple in your hand. Go out
there, find him, and GRAB that apple! If you were in his shoes you'd
feel the same.

At The Right Place

In my perilous adventures, i've noticed... that sometimes when i wake
up and start the day, i have to put my Master back in his rightful
place above. And to put myself in my rightful place below. Before i do
this, my mind is not in the right mindset. When i set things at their
right places, i find i can believe more.

An Old New Concept

The concept of loving God with all your heart and all your mind and
all your soul. It ain't new to me. Hmmm... but only now do i have to
sit down and really meditate on it. What's it like? i sure haven't
done it before. But it is the greatest commandment. Dare i disobey
the greatest commandment? But why don't i feel it??? Oh thank God
for Philippians 2:13.

shameless plug: if you go to www.gospelcom.net on the navbar on the
right, you can search for bible verses by typing either the verse,
chapter, or even a phrase you remember from the verse. It can display
it in any veresion of the bible.

Sensitivity

Perhaps this newfoundlife could be taking effect on me in other ways
as well. Am i getting more sensitive?

I swear i've seen Deep Impact at least 2 times. But only when i
watched it again last week did tears start welling up in my eyes.

What caused this? A new perspective on life perhaps? At any rate, i
don't see anything wrong with it.

To do what i don't want to?

"How can it be?" "How can i have the power to like what i don't want, and to do what i don't want?" i asked him. His reply awed me. "It is I, who will work in you. That you may will to do it, and you will do it."

Hows that for a reply! the power is not in my hands. I don't have to worry about it!

Run, Run Tabby Run!!

Run Tabby! the clutches of your Old Master still reach for you! The
grace of God is the only thing separating you from your Old Master.
Grab on to the grace! for it will come but once each time! Run!!

My Masters

Oh look! Two of my masters are battling each other. My
old master, and my new master. Isn't this amazing?
I must run however, it will not do me any good to try
and intervene.



_______________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Shop for Back-to-School deals on Yahoo! Shopping.
http://shopping.yahoo.com/backtoschool