I Just Wanted To Say 3 Words

Dear Heavenly Father, allow me with utmost solemnity to say this to You. From the bottom of my heart. Not imagining you to be real. Not imagining that you are hearing me. But believing. Believing on blind simple faith that at this very moment, you are hearing my words in real time:

Heavenly Father, the most powerful Man on earth and the most powerful Spirit on earth,
   who sits across from me now, listening in real time as i speak,
Who has created me and nurtured me from the time i was in my mother's womb,
   Who has guided me and shielded me from wicked men as I grew up.
Who has protected me from harm and serious illness my whole life.

   Who even ran alongside me when I was alone in the 10k marathons in MOA and The Fort,
Who made sure my feet did not give way that I might stumble and hurt myself under the blazing sun.
   Who happily accompanied me whenever i went to the mall alone,
Who even brought me before that kiosk of PS3's in SM Annex, and showed me the graphics it can do!

   Who sat beside me every day while I was in the hospital with Dengue Fever.

Who let me experience with my eyes and heart the worst that man is capable of,
   If only to strengthen me that I may not be shocked when trials come.
Who let me experience having an abundance of money, as well as losing ALL of my money,
   To prove that He would still feed me regardless of my situation.

Who has blessed me with all that I can do,
   And even all that I cannot do no matter how hard I try.
Who stuck by me even during times that I had completely lost faith & hope in myself,
    Gently urging me through others to just keep my eyes on Him.

Who introduced me to The Sims 2, to show me how easy it is to mistakenly ruin my sims' lives,
    If only to prove to me that even I, am His one Sim, whom He will nurture and never forsake,
Even if He is doing the same for 6 billion other Sims in the world,
    Who has carefully handpicked all the Sims I would meet in my life,
My enemies, my family, my friends, all of whom I love and am thankful for,
    Who, not being content with that, decided to become a Sim Himself,
That I may have someone recognizable to be my friend and to show me the way.

Who, after this day filled with anger and resentment and frustration with myself,
    Gently took me by the hand, and showed me all the things He has been to me throughout my life,

That I may write some of them here tonight for someone to read,
   and brighten someone else's day, even just a little.

Having said all this, what then do I have to say to You?
    You who have been more than a father, a mother, a lover, or a friend could ever be to me?
What else is there left to say but that which is always the hardest,
    What I could never say to You before with as much honesty and meaning as I have tonight:

          I Love You.

A Letter of Apology from CEO of The Adventures of Tabby Kun™

I would like to extend my deepest and sincerest apologies for any inconvenience I have caused you my fellow Multiplicands. A freak accident (failed attempt to import blog entries from my other blog), has resulted in the reposting of all my blog entries, consequently flooding all your inboxes with my rants and raves. Geez talk about my whole life flashing before YOUR eyes!

Anyway, time heals all wounds, just as time will clear all your inboxes of my posts. Please bear with me as we go through these difficult times.

Thanks you very much and God bless.
-Ryan Ocampo

Testing

test.

D' Original

There's just something about buying original stuff. I'm not talking
about clothes. I'm talking about the things that get pirated the most.
CD's and DVD's.

Music CD's. Ahhh, the scent of the booklet insert as you open the
jewel case. The smoothness and flawlessness of the CD Label print.
Everything on the disc is printed and designed in such a way that
everything fits exactly the way it should be - the way it was meant to
be.

Same goes for DVD movies. Original DVD movies carry a certain weight
about them that fakes can't ever replicate. The extra cash you shell
out automatically makes the DVD worth every penny, without a single
penny wasted.

But the most uncanny effect that originals have on me is their
capability to both "sound" and "look" clearer and more impressive than
the fakes. Even though, technically, there's no difference.

Y'all can mock me all you want. "You're a fool! spending Php900 on
something you can get for 50 bucks!". Well? one thing you can't buy
for 50 bucks is the novelty of the item.

God saved me before i became totally screwed Story #1

The moment of truth. This is it. The night before the Kape't Pandasal
2nd year anniversary. Tension mounts during the Kape shoot today as i
find out that Bro. Nono Alfonso has finally chosen songs for them to
sing live on ABS tomorrow. Songs which i will have to scavenge the
malls for. Night falls. I see my opportunity to find the songs as Dex
(not to be confused with a male Dex classmate of mine back in college)
has to go to SM West to send a package. With no trouble i quickly
find Videoke CD's containing the songs we need. With much confidence
in my abilities to extract the minus one audio out of them, we grab
some Wendy's and head back to Jescom.

Jescom, around 9pm. i grab not a single bite out of my meal. Dex
doesn't either. We're both tense. Tomorrow is the day of reckoning. I
need closure that i can extract the minus one track successfully, and
Dex needs closure that she will have all her cast members for the No 2
Xmas shoot which starts tomorrow (someone backed out at the last
minute). I have encountered a problem though. It seems as though
modern technology has enhanced Videoke CD's to the point where the
minus one track and the track with vocals are not on separate channels
anymore. Am i damned? is this the day where all my seven days of
coordinating hardship slip out the holes in my pocket? Is this the day
i have to text Michelle and Joy of ABS-CBN that the bros have no songs
to sing tomorrow? Tune in next week to hear the conclusion of this
epic tale!

Random Thoughts

I have to just place some thoughts here. Ayusin ko nlang yung ayos ng
pagka-ayos niya later. Ayos ba?

- The more i think about how to organize every thing in my life, the
more time runs out faster.
- The more i plan to sit down and think up my battle plan for the next
day, the more i end up going to work unready.

- There is so much i need to do. There is so much i want to do. Yet i
don't do it. Some people ask me why i don't just do it. I tell them i
don't know why.

- Am i really incapable? harap harapan na kasi sa sarili ko, i fail
myself. I fail in front of my own watchful scrutinizing eye. Does
that mean i really can't do it?

- Some people say that if i was thrust into a situation where i really
would have to fend for myself, that i would develop the necessary
skills to survive. Perhaps that's true. But i sure as hell am not
moving out!

Theory of a Scoundrel #1

Lemme just make this quick. When we wonder why we need to pray, when it's obvious that God knows what we want before we even ask it, we should stop to think:

Perhaps we should pray, not to remind God of what we want, but to remind "us" of what we want. Not to remind God to protect us, but to remind us of His protection. Not to remind God of our prayers, but to remind "us" that we prayed. Thus faith is increased after each prayer.

More selfish introvertial analysis

Well, i'm still screaming for attention and for people to care. Wallowing in self pity. Always imagining people saying, "but you're a good person!". I don't know if there's any truth to that statement. There is a thin line between being a "good person" and just being someone who doesn't care, doesn't wanna steer up trouble, and therefore "appears" good to everyone.

And where's my ambition huh? why am i so lazy???

'Do as I say, don't do as I do'

Stop turning Christ into a joke. Don't use religion to conceal your political motives. YOU WERE NEVER PRIESTS AND PASTORS AT HEART. YOUR EFFORTS ARE FUTILE ANYWAY. BY PRETENDING TO BE RIGHTEOUS AND SPIRITUAL, YOU VOMIT PUTRID PUKE AT THE FEET OF THOSE YOU TRY TO FOOL, AND YOU MOCK THE GOD WHO FAILS YOU WHEN YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT. IN DOING SO, OTHER'S LAUGH AT YOU AND MOCK YOUR GOD AS WELL.

Oh sure, you want to re-live your Glory days back in college, when being activists was a noble profession. But A PASTOR DOES NOT LEAD HIS SHEEP TO FIGHT THE WOLVES. He puts the sheep in a safe pasture, and fights the wolves himself. Even so, are you not all sheep, and Christ your pastor? Do you all claim to take the place of Christ by fighting the wolves?

Do not make the church a tool. Do not make the congregation your soldiers. Bear no semblance of Christ or religion when you take to the streets. If you draw crowds of followers on just your willpower, and not make your willpower into God's, will not people believe you more?

THE BATOUTOFHELL-MAN

This morning i confirmed that i'm really messed up. No matter how much i fool myself into thinking i'm not.
i was gonna be late. So i got angry with myself and drove to work like a bat out of hell. I tuned into NU, and relished "Smells Like Teen Spirit". So i did what any decent person would do. Naturally i opened my window and increased the vol of the radio as far as it would go. Then i realized that my sounds wouldn't match my driving if i didn't drive to match. So i adjusted my driving to match the music. No i didn't hit anyone, or anything. I didn't even almost hit anyone or anything. But i still endangered lives for the remainder of Elliptical road.. (and hey, i was trying to get to work on time, right? so what's wrong with that?). So there.

So what else is wrong with me, oh yeah, I arrived 8 minutes late because the spirit is willing, but the body won't ever yield to discipline, ever.

Ok let's change the subject into something more positive:

What's wrong with me? Sometimes i get so irritated, without being able to tell what i'm irritated about. Then the irritation turns to fury, still without quite knowing what i'm furious about. And sometimes i just feel down. Plainly and simply, "down", for no apparent reason i can think of. Why do i feel like i'm always screaming for attention? Why do i feel like no one cares? I know that everyone cares about me, yet i'm still screaming for people to care!

I'm writing this down because i don't ever want to forget this.

That feeling

Ok here's a description of that feeling. This is purely for my own reference, that i may not forget it's details. It starts somewhere in the heart (which is by this time beating quite fast). Somehow a band or a beam of sorts slowly travels downward from the chest area. The beam is characterized by a sensation not quite akin to pain, but is more like a "weakness". Perhaps this weakness is best described as, "that same feeling Superman gets when exposed to kryptonite". Anyway, this beam slowly travels downward, and is felt strongest when it reaches the knees, where it seems to linger on for a while, before proceeding lower and ultimately diminishing towards the feet.

Believe it or not...

This comes from my own wisdom... and is subject to be fallacious without my knowing. But...

Believe it or not, it is much harder to please myself than to please God. What i mean is, it is actually a really heavy burden when we try to satisfy ourselves. Just stop and think now, have you ever been satisfied when trying to satisfy yourself? We can be trying to find ways to make ourselves more comfortable, more at peace, more well off, and never actually reach that goal.

God on the other hand, invites us to stop thinking of ourselves. Believe it or not, you will not be more satisfied, than when you stop trying to be. A heavy burden is lifted when you suddenly allow yourself to "not care about it anymore". When we do everything for God's glory, we're doing what we were made to do. It's a snap back to reality. Who are you?? to think that God made you to please yourself?. We are to please God. Trust me, there is not one who pleases God who is not pleasing himself at the same time, satisfied, and at peace.

A Lil' Sumpin Sum'n

Criticism Sample of

Daily Encounter by Dick Innes

"He [Jesus] did not retaliate when he was insulted. When he
suffered, he did not threaten to get even. He left his case in
the hands of God, who always judges fairly" (1 Peter 2:23,
NLT).

"He who fears criticism," declared Thomas Jefferson, "is
hopeless. Only those who do things are criticized. The idler
is lost sight of in the march of events--but the doer is
watched and criticized. To hesitate for fear of criticism loses
the battle while the doers march on to victory and triumphs.

"If your cause is right, be not afraid of criticism: Advocate it,
expound it, and, if need be, fight for it. Critics always will be,
but to the strong-minded they are a help rather than a
hindrance. As the horse spurts forward when prodded
with the spur, so the doers forge ahead under the last of
criticism. Take your part on life's stage and play your part
to the end. Stand for that which is good [that which is right].
Be a doer, not a drone. Look the world in the face and let
the critics criticize."

The fact is those who achieve anything worthwhile in life
are bound to be the target for the jabs and jibes of jealous
lesser men. Furthermore, the person who, for fear of
criticism, tries to please everyone, ends up pleasing no one.

Realize, too, that an incessant, negative criticizer with a chip
on his/her shoulder is basically an angry person. They have
never resolved their hurts from the past and are looking for
hooks to hang their anger on. That is, they are projecting
their anger and/or failures onto others rather than accepting
the responsibility for their own unresolved issues.

On the other hand, when constructive criticism is given, let's
accept it in the spirit in which it is given, evaluate it realistic-
ally, and make changes where necessary. This is a
characteristic of a mature person.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to be Christ-
like when criticized in that I accept all criticism in a mature
manner and don't become defensive. Wherever the criticism
is valid, help me to accept it gladly and make changes
accordingly. Thank you for hearing and answering my
prayer. Gratefully, in Jesus' name, amen."

what to do with The System

Sure, we all see it. And if we don't see it we feel it. It's called "aversion to The System". Humans can sometimes get all doubtful and critical about "The System". Any governing body that requires rules and beliefs to be followed is automatically called "The System".

The Matrix, anyone?

Of course it's not bad to question "The System". Especially if it's a system created and enforced by mere humans. I mean, what do humans know? And since when did humans agree with each other?

The question is, what do we as believers do, in order that unbelievers do not dismiss the Truth that we believe and preach, as manipulative ways to get them hooked on "The System"? God after all does have His own "System".

"For the world to see the Truth, there can be no better proof, than to live the life... live the life..." .
That is the best we can do. Whether or not unbelievers embrace the Truth or not, is entirely up to God.

Dream of Waking Up

If somehow God grants me a wakeup, i swear i'm gonna do something about it! I'm gonna write a book, make a movie maybe, tell a story, anything! Things can get so sweet in life. Life can be so beautiful!

Oh how i dream of waking up. Of seeing the big picture once and for all. Of nothing else mattering anymore. I dream of wading through my problems while humming a happy tune without a care in the world, coz i cast them all up: "I missed the part where that's MY problem".

A Certain Level of Knowledge

Could it be that after a certain level of knowledge and wisdom is
reached... people become cynical and negative? depressed? If you're
not that way, does it mean you're not that wise or learned enough yet?
Just an interesting theory. Hehe.

the REAL emergency

The REAL emergency is when you don't see the emergency.
When everyone pretends that everything is alright, to a point that they're convinced that it's alright, they don't realize the death that is slowly eating them away.

It's like in a car see. When you're clutch drivin see. Sure aint nothin hapnin while yo steppin on that clutch for hours on end 24/7. And then BAM!

Timing

There's a time to be preachy, and a time to be tactful...

I Can't Trust Myself

I can't trust myself. I must be mindful of all that i do... of each footstep i take.

The Law Fulfilled

Didn't he say, "i came here to fulfill the law" (paraphrased). I
understand now. The law was never made for me to be able to follow it.
It was made to show me how futile it is to try to obey the law. The
law shows me how much i can't live without my Brother much less my
Father.